The author is a prominent educationist, management practitioner, motivational speaker and a writer with various books under his belt. He writes on topics like motivation, leadership and success.Mr. Kapoor's book “Heart over Matter – Your Mantra For Success” is based on E.Q alone and is now in 8 languages including Vietnamese by this June. He has also written a series of seven books for schools published by Macmillan on E.Q – a first of its kind and unique distinction in itself. More on EQ from the man himself…
"Academically Challenged" ? Worry Not!
There is only one topper in the class. Right? And this is a no brainer. If you look at the role of honor of a college, again there are a few names with honors and accolades. Therefore in a class of say hundred there are on an average about twenty who can be called academically bright. The rest of the lot comprises of those average and poor guys.
If you examine the Pyramid of the educated youth in our country, it is not surprising then, that only a few from the top of the pyramid can get into the top engineering and management colleges. The rest have to be satisfied with average or below average educational institutes in every discipline. Is there any way to change the situation? The answer is no, because institutes of excellence admit only those who are academically excellent.
Now comes the more pertinent question. Is there a way for those who do not have a high IQ and hence do not get high academic scores, to do well in life?
The answer lies in the fact that there are many who have not been to an IIT or an IIM but have done phenomenally well in life. So what do these ‘academically challenged’ have in them that has made them a big success in life? What is that game changing element?
In the last two decades, a number of studies were conducted to find out what makes great people, successful leaders, or even rich entrepreneurs? These studies revealed that, the movers and the shakers, the rich and the famous were not necessarily high school toppers or great finance wizards. These successful people had certain very basic traits like bouncing back after a failure, commitment to a cause , drive and determination, and ability to get along with people to name a few.
Emotional Intelligence – The Game Changer
Almost at the same time theory of Multiple Intelligence emerged which did not give credence to mathematical and linguistic ability alone (both related to IQ) for individuals overall competence but also identified another five abilities which complemented these two to give a holistic picture of human competence. Each of these abilities was referred to as an ‘Intelligence’ by Howard Gardner, the proponent of MI theory.
Two of the intelligences out of the seven defined by Howard Gardner were inter personal and Intra personal Intelligence – which put together was termed as Emotional Intelligence. In fact Emotional Intelligence is that ‘game changer’ which makes the difference between success and failure. It looks into the individual ability to examine at his own emotions and there by deal with them more effectively. If you are not great at mathematics, logic and languages you will not do well academically. But if you have good Emotional Intelligence you will definitely do well in life and beat those who have the academic grade to go to top colleges.
Good News: E.I. is NOT math! It is Learnable Intelligence!
Let me list some of the most important EI traits for success. Drive and determination are by far the most important ‘Ones’. Unless you develop a drive to achieve something and then have the determination to finish it, you will never succeed. According to my experience, self control, adaptability, initiative, trust worthiness, getting along with people and empathy towards people are the next most important cluster of Emotional Intelligence traits that helps getting success in any and every field.
The good news is that while you cannot do much to improve your IQ. You can make a conscious effort to push up your Emotional Quotient. In short EI is a learnable intelligence.
I have not only written several books based on EI but have been able to put this entire concept in to practice at my management institute. At Management Institute for Leadership and Excellence – MILE, we typically focused on the word excellence. Excellence through Emotional Intelligence.
Our mission had been “how to make ordinary students perform extraordinarily”. To inculcate an achievement drive into a non achiever is not an easy task. We had to create an environment that motivated people to work hard and achieve something. Creating such a peer pressure in the positive direction works wonders. One has to follow a carrot and stick policy. The entire lot needs to be motivated with pep talks and at the same time pushed hard to perform. Push and Pull both are needed to drive a human being.
Pressure with due care teaches self control and adaptability. If you make a guy work for almost fifteen hours a day, in a few months it becomes a habit. Group activities, student committees teach you how to get along with people and to some extent empathies with your team mates when they need your help. We have been able to implement our Emotional Intelligence agenda very subtly and with spectacular results. This has not only resulted in great placements but also our students doing well in the Industry during their summer internship and also when they join the companies for their jobs.
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference – Winston Churchill
Let us analyze and act upon the often repeated statement “Companies hire people for skills but fire them because of the attitude”. Here skills are related to management acumen where as attitude is nothing but Emotional Intelligence in action. It is attitude that one needs to change and Emotional Intelligence in its totality tells you what all to focus on, to get the right attitude that works.
At an individual level the not so bright guys should read some practical stuff and some good books on the subject and make a consistent effort to inculcate these Emotional Intelligence ‘habits’. There is no short cut but there is surely a way to make amends to your attitude.
To change your environment, all that you have to do is to change your friends circle, your company. Reach out to guys who are enthusiastic, make friends with people who are Principled and in simple words – good human beings. Self help is the best help, nothing works better than self motivation.
A thought can trigger a change in you, a tremendous change. Remember there is no substitute for hard work. Don’t aim at a transformational change – that may never happen. It is easy to change one percent in hundred areas rather than changing hundred Percent in one area. Go step by step and things will begin to move in the positive direction. You may have not realized the importance of these simple human habits till now. Your high academic scores count for certain things in life but there are many other things that count in making you successful and happy. As Albert Einstein said, “Not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that can be counted counts”.
IndiaBookStore interviewed Mr. Virender Kapoor and quizzed him on his various passsions and work. To read more
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